As Paula and I were getting ready to go on a kayak (me)/swim (her) adventure together, as we have done many times, we had created a little pile of things to go in the container of my kayak. As I head towards her, she looks at me, holding a snack bag in each hand and a big smile and says, “how are we even friends!??”
In one hand was her Teriyaki flavoured Beef Steak Nuggets, and in her other was my Hippie Snack Cauliflower Crisps. We laughed.
That about sums it up! Throughout our 30 years of friendship, we have always found it endlessly humorous how vastly different we are and marvel at the mystery of how our friendship works.
We met at Augustana University (Camrose, Alberta, Canada) in 1992. She was taking Physics and Math, and I was taking….ready for it??!! Outdoor Pursuits as I was trying to be as close to nature, adventure and away from the status quo as much as I could, and Psychology.
As far as Math goes, I had deep trauma from my earlier years and could not believe anyone would voluntarily choose to study it at University. She thought, Outdoor Pursuits- that is not a University subject! Regardless, for my soul, it was the perfect fit at that time, just as physics and math were for hers!
Paula is the type of person you know is in the room or space. Publicly, she is bolder, more outgoing, confident, and outspoken. I am quieter and more reserved until I know you.
I am more of a minimalist and have been interested in alternative building and sustainable and conscious living since we have known each other. My perspectives are holistic and spiritual, and she is more traditional in her life and views; I remember a phrase I used to say a lot decades ago, ‘if it is meant to be, it will happen,” which drove her bat s**t crazy. Ha-ha. As the bags of snacks she held up suggest, she enjoys eating meat, and my vegan self does not.
In 1995 I dropped out of massage school (but did go back and finish), and while visiting her at the Banff Springs hotel where she worked, I told her I wanted to travel. She said, “where do you want to go?” I said, “Europe.” She said, “I’ll go with you!” And just like that, we were in Amsterdam three weeks later, beginning our three-and-a-half-month backpacking adventure around Europe!
One of the main things I LOVE and appreciate about Paula is that she says ‘YES!!’ to life and is open to and loves new life experiences and adventures!! We share this in common, and the places we have found ourselves in have certainly made for some good stories! Though the kind of adventures I appreciate do NOT involve ‘crazy’ rides, zip lines, etc., she loves them!
She is one of the funniest, most intelligent, and quick-witted people I know, and our similar humour and love of laughter feed off each other and takes delight in being able to play and just BE. I feel these are the magical secret sauce of our lasting friendship. Of course, we have each navigated many non-funny times in our lives and similarly approach this with inner strength and tenacity.
We are independent, loyal, kind, self-reflective, self-aware, compassionate, and like to accomplish a goal or challenge and grow, learn and improve. We have had a tendency to be hard on ourselves, and have navigated shared complexities in our mother relationships.
Being a math teacher and currently working on her MBA, she is very logical, as you would imagine. I lead from the sensitive, feeling and empathic world of emotional intelligence. Over the years she is becoming increasingly connected with her sensitive, wise, and perceptive parts, which makes for deep, and interesting conversations.
So, to revisit the question, ‘how are we even friends!!?? From my perspective, it is no longer shrouded in mystery. We are similar and aligned in the essential ways, and the rest makes for good humour! The freedom to be ourselves and be accepted as we are (in any relationship) and treated with respect, care, and support for one another is a GIFT!
The kayak/swim adventure took place here in Vernon, BC (Canada), this past weekend. Paula was in town for work (from Edmonton, AB) and, gratefully, was able to carve out some friendship and lake time.
All I know for SURE is that our crazy connection has enriched my life in the deepest and richest of ways consisting of too many belly laughs to count!
We talked about going to Nepal for my 40th birthday almost ten years ago. Paula is two years younger than me, and at dinner the other night, she said, “why don’t we go to Nepal for my 50th birthday?” which would be the 30th anniversary of our Europe trip! A fantastically exciting idea except for how un ecologically friendly global travel is, which is a very challenging thing for me to reconcile. I will sit with that one.
Happy known-each-other-for-thirty-years-P!
I would LOVE to hear about your deep and lasting difference-filled (or not) friendship connections (below)!
*Please feel free to share if you feel someone might enjoy this friendship story!
This article is a wonderful acclamation of a rare and beautiful friendship that has lasted for so many years. Magical for sure!
What a lovely story! Thank you for sharing it;